Absolution
by BBCRules95
Summary: Steve finds out about Tony's demons and the reason behind the billionaire's resentment towards him. Cap needs forgiveness, Tony needs time - which he doesn't really have. Can Captain America understand Tony Stark and can Tony let him in? I suck as summaries, but please give it a go! No slash.


**I don't know where it came from, it just happened. I regret a lot actually, but anyway. I hope you like it. If not, please don't hesitate to fire a nuke at me. I probably deserve it. **

**WARNINGS: character death **

Tony needed to find Steve. JARVIS has been monitoring the activity of these creatures and then Tony realized that their actual goal was blowing up the reactor powering his Washington tower. The leader of the group needed to know, work out a new plan, but their communications were down and no member of the team was anywhere to be seen. _Tony needed to find Steve_.

He saw a blur of blue, red and white speed past him and seconds later he heard a yelp of a dying alien in the distance. He was dragged back into the battle as Steve put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

'Hey Howard, what the hell are you doing here? Can't you obey orders for once? I thought I told you to…'

'I don't know about your beloved Howard, but I came here to tell you there is no point trying to kill those things. They are headed for the reactor and unless we get there faster than them, America will be short of a capital soon!' He turned around, now holding his helmet in his hand. Steve knew that Stark was furious. It wasn't the first time he called him Howard and it wasn't the first time that he earned a glare and a few spiteful words for that.

'I'm sorry, let's get going. We need to find the rest.' Steve tried to catch Tony by the arm, as he started walking away, but the billionaire pushed him away and started walking in the opposite direction to the one that they needed to be headed.

'Tony!' No reply came from the genius.

'You can go on your own. Maybe I'm not good enough, maybe I'm just gonna break something, or be useless again. Piss off,' Tony's voice was cold and full of resentment. Steve was surprised to find that it sounded almost…broken.

Steve was about to try taking him by force and knocking some reason into that thick arrogant skull, when something blurred past him and seconds later Stark was on the ground, face down. Half of his armour was now in pieces, scattered all over the street. The soldier was next to him immediately, pushing him onto his back and checking his body for injuries. His breath hitched when he saw a rapidly spreading scarlet patch, right below the arc reactor where a piece of armour had fallen off. Tony was gasping for air, his eyes wide open and staring at a point behind Steve's shoulder. Suddenly the Captain realized that the coms were back on, but he wouldn't be needing them now, as Banner suddenly appeared out of the blue. Surprisingly, he was fully clothed, but Steve could see that he was fighting for control with the Hulk.

'Banner!' Steve called for the doctor, pressing his hands to Stark's injury to stop the bleeding.

'Oh my fucking gooooood. Don't, don't, Cap!' Tony tried to push Steve away, which only intensified the agony. However, the solider remained unmoved and Tony could swear that he pressed even harder, just to make him suffer. He felt something cold press again his cheek and looked up to see Banner's face blocking his vision. The doc was talking, but he had difficulty making out the words. Everything was blurry and the only thing he could focus on was the pain. He tried to tell them that he couldn't breathe, tried to tell Banner that he couldn't understand him, but his body disagreed with him. No words would leave his mouth and he suddenly started coughing, as he tried to speak.

The other two Avengers could only watch as their comrade was writhing on the ground, choking on his own blood.

'I'm sorry. He's punctured a lung, I even think the reactor might be damaged. All the emergency services are in the city centre. Damn it, Steve. He's gonna…he's gonna…' the doctor's voice trailed off, now the Hulk's rage was his own. Tony understood Banner and Tony understood the Hulk. If he was out, so was his only chance of a normal life, so was his only real friend. The words that he was trying to share with the captain soon turned into a roar and Steve was left on his own with a dying teammate, unable to do anything and distracted by the noise of cars being smashed by the Hulk in the distance. Where was Thor? Where were Nat and Clint?

'Pep…Pepper, hurts…' Tony managed to spit out. He kept moving around; the Cap suspected that he was trying to make himself more comfortable, to lessen the agony. He wanted to do something, wanted to save him, but even Banner called it. The only thing he could do was push the automatic release button on the suit and watch what remained of it fall off Tony's body. He pulled the billionaire into his firm grasp, hoping to give him some comfort and make his exit more dignified than what he would otherwise have to experience.

'Pepper's not here _Tony_. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.' Steve needed to make an effort to steady his breathing. He'd seen it before. He's seen it at war – soldiers, his comrades begging to see their loved ones one last time before moving on to the other side. He's seen the look in their eyes, full of desperation and confusion. He was seeing all this now. The billionaire suddenly grabbed his shoulder and held on tight. His eyes were watering and he was clenching his teeth, making Steve worried that he would bite his tongue and suffer even more.

'Tony, I was wrong. Following orders is not always the best thing to do, you know.' He tried to sound playful, hoping to hear a sarcastic remark as a reply, but nothing came. Steve was not good with emotions, and he was not good with Stark. He felt completely lost, feeling the need to comfort him. The best he could do was just to hold him close, offering him some warmth as his body started cooling down and offering a more comfortable surface to lay on than concrete.

'Dad!' Stark howled suddenly, tightening his grip on Steve's arm. He could see that he was now completely out of it. He could probably no longer see him, maybe he was not even in Washington anymore?

_Howard was there, hovering over him. Tony could swear that he only came to reprimand him again. He always reprimanded him, because he was not good enough. At other times he would hit him when he was drunk – that was because he wasn't Captain America. _

'Dad, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Help, just…just this once…' the battered figure resting in Steve's arms started shaking. Tony was choking again after his woeful attempt at speaking and now the tears staining his cheeks were accompanied by loud sobs. He raised his arm in desperation, as if he was trying to reach out for something, that wasn't there in reality.

_He needed Howard. It hurt. It hurt so terribly and weren't fathers supposed to be there for their little boys when something hurt? To carry them when they were injured or take themm out for pizza when they were sad? But Howard didn't move. He stood still, like a marble figure, as if he was expecting something from Tony. _

Steve started shaking Tony's shoulder, trying to bring him out of his delirium that was now causing even more harm. The billionaire tried to get up, prop himself up and head towards whatever he was seeing, but this would only make his death even more agonizing. Steve would not allow for that. After all those things between them that needed fixing, but could never be fixed, this was the least he could do.

_Tony looked up, but now somebody's face was blocking his view of Howard. It seemed familiar. Somehow he knew that it was Steve Rogers, Captain America. What was he doing there? Why didn't Howard rush to his side immediately? Surely, he would want to be reunited with his friend as soon as possible? Maybe he didn't notice him? But how could he not? And then Tony remembered it all. It was actually him who found Captain America in Washington, wasn't it? He could swear it happened only minutes ago!_

'Daddy…daddy, look what I've found. Captain America is here!' Tony's words were now just a prolonged agonized whine. Steve even made the effort to brush his dirty hair out of his eyes and rub his shoulder to offer some comfort. Even his own suit was now stained with red, but he couldn't care less at the moment. He could tell that the end was close. He would have time to fix his uniform later. Now his comrade…his friend? needed him more than anything.

'Dad, pleaaaaase! Just look at me! He's here I've found him! I know he's a million times better than me, I know! But just look at me, please!'

A million times better than Tony Stark? Steve had difficulty comprehending that at first, but then pieces of the puzzle started coming together? _Everything special about you came out of a bottle._ He, the super-solider must have been one of Howard's greatest achievements. SHIELD told him that Howard kept looking for him. He's seen the files, he's found the videos, the news articles. He even heard those who knew Howard personally call it an obsession, but surely…he wouldn't trade his own son for Steve, would he?

_Tony didn't care anymore. His father remained unmoved, but he was about to die. He knew it, felt life drain away from him, together with the precious scarlet liquid that was now forming a puddle around his body. He needed to fix this before he…he would cry and whine and plead, but Howard __**had**__ to look at him eventually. _

'Isn't that what you always wanted, dad? Where's mum? I need her it h-aaargh-urts.' Steve closed his eyes. He couldn't bear that any longer. Somehow watching anonymous soldiers dying on the battlefield was easier than this.

_Finally. Howard made a step forward. He bent down next to Tony and took a swing with his arm. Oh God, please not again. Being cut open from neck to liver by an alien weapon is enough. Please dad, just don't hit me._

Stark suddenly lifted his arm, as if he was shielding his face from a blow that would never come. Steve saw how weak the gesture was – it was lacking in strength and sent Tony into another coughing fit.

_The blow never came. Instead, Howard ruffled his hair and the features on his face softened, as he started to appreciate the sacrifice that his only son just made. _

'_Tony, you need to get up. We need to go.' _

'Go where? What about Steve? Is he coming too? I'm not going if he is…' Those few words felt like a punch to the face. Steve always blamed their arguments on Stark's volatility and arrogance. He never thought that maybe he really did something to upset the other Avenger without even realizing it. 'He took you, and he's gonna take you away again…' that last sentence turned into a soft whine. Steve hated himself. Now that all the protective layers of arrogance and resentment were washed away by the dizziness and the pain, Stark was revealing his demons slowly, making Steve loathe himself, knowing that it was indirectly his fault. He never wanted this. He never wanted to know this. Maybe on the inside Stark was just still a scared, lonely kid who needed his dad to be there for him, and he walked all over that boy, making him feel like the one who really was responsible.

'_He's not coming Tony, but your mother's waiting. Come on, there's a nice Hot Rod waiting for us, you don't want to miss that.'_

'Ok, ok. Thanks.'

_He would go, he just…for some reason he couldn't get up. His body wouldn't let him go. Howard remained there, by his side, patiently stroking his hair and trying to comfort his son for the first time in his life. _

The next few minutes were a blur. After Tony thanked somebody, certainly not Steve, his words were incomprehensible. Steve gave up on preventing him from clawing at his wound. He just wished he could block out the cries and whines. He wished Stark could live, stay with them for longer, but Banner had made it clear enough. When the Avengers needed him, he could avoid Hulking out, but now the message was clear, as Hulk could still be heard smashing objects down the street – there was nothing anyone could do for Sta…for Tony.

'_Hey, my boy. It's okay, stop this. I'm so proud of you. The arc reactor…dear God, it's amazing. And then Iron Man. You've no idea…you saved the world Tony – again. You've grown up to be someone, I could never be. I just wish I could be there to congratulate you earlier.' _

_Tony wanted to let go, to go with his father. Finally, he heard that word, __**proud**__. It was music to his years. _

'_Do you want to say goodbye?' _

Steve couldn't help it. The tears just started falling. He felt sorry for Tony, he felt sorry for the man that Howard had apparently become, he felt sorry for himself, because he lost a friend he never really had. Suddenly, someone was wiping away the tears. Stark seemed more awake than he had ever seen him and his hand was brushing against Steve's cheek. Steve saw a shadow of a smile dancing on his lips and a spark of hope lit in his heart.

'Capsicle, crying is not cool, cheer up. There's one thing I always wanted when I was younger , you know…' Steve just shot him _that_ look, indicating for him to carry on. 'Do you think me and Captain America could be like…friends?' Steve held him closer, like he would do with a little child and held Tony's bloodied hand in his.

'I would be honored, _Tony_.' He fought for control, he wouldn't break down in front of him, not now. He couldn't do it to him.

Steve's new friend smiled sweetly in reply.

'Since you're buddies now…can you just tell Pepper that I um, kinda…love her. God, that line is so cliché, I watch too many movies. See you later, Steve.' _Steve._ He gave up and let the tears flow. For the first time ever Tony called him by his Christian name. First and last. But at least he knew the reason behind their disagreements. He found out the reason and he gained absolution. Life would eventually be good. Just as Tony would want it.

_Nothing hurt anymore. It felt good. Tony always thought that if he was to be led away from this world by someone it would probably be an angel…or the devil more like. They would start floating towards the sky, end up in front of a golden gate and eventually he would probably be sent down to hell for all the evil he's done._

_Instead, he found himself in a Hot Rod with his father, blowing Led Zeppelin through the speakers. He had a father and he had a new friend. Life…well, technically death was good._

**So…are you sending the nuke or not? It just popped into my head and I needed to jot it down, but if you think it's poorly written/inconsistent/cheesy whatever (as I do), let me know because I might actually change it a bit.**

**Please REVIEW, because it's only through constructive criticism that we can evaluate our work **** It'll be extremely appreciated. **


End file.
